


I Never Promised You A Rose Garden

by orphan_account



Category: Football RPF
Genre: Eating Disorders, M/M, vent fic again sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-27
Updated: 2017-08-20
Packaged: 2018-12-07 12:46:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11623836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Granit hasn't been eating





	1. I Know I'm A Mess He Don't Wanna Clean Up

**Author's Note:**

> lol look at me, back at it again...enjoy! Title's a song, not sure who did it originally, I've only heard Morrissey's version...

Granit hurries as he makes his way to training, he’d overslept slightly and was late. He changes quickly and heads out onto the field, nodding an apology to Wenger.

“I was starting to get worried” Olivier says.

“Overslept”

“Ah, again?”

“Yeah I didn’t hear my alarm”

“I’ll have to start phoning you to get you up”

“That could work”

Olivier finds a ball and kicks it to Granit, more people join in and they have a proper kickabout. Soon training starts properly with some training drills, simple enough really. 

It’s only when they get to the match Olivier notices Granit lagging a bit. Maybe he was tired still. It’s only when he faints Olivier worries. He jogs over straight away and kneels by him.

“Granit!” He taps his face.

“Wasn’t he well?” Shkodran asks

“I don’t know, he seemed fine. Come on, wake up!”

Granit’s eyes open a few minutes later to Oli’s relief. 

“Hey, there you are” He says

“Sorry”

“No don’t apologise you idiot, weren’t you feeling well?”

“I’m fine, it’s just a bit hot”

“Sure?”

“Yeah honestly”

“Well ok then, want to sit out?”

“That might be best”

Olivier looks across at Wenger who nods before helping his boyfriend up and getting him over to the sidelines.

“How are you feeling?” he asks

“Alright”

“Here” He passes him some water.

“Thanks”

“Did you eat this morning?”

“No time”

“Ah, well we have the meal after this”

“Yeah”

The rest of the session goes quickly and soon they’re all sitting together eating. Well, Granit sits there stirring his pasta.

“Aren’t you eating?” Olivier asks.

“Not hungry”

“You must be, you didn’t eat this morning”

Granit shrugs 

“You should eat, especially after before” Olivier points out.

“Yeah I guess”

Even so, Granit makes no move to actually eat. And now Olivier thinks, just thinks. When was the last time he’d actually seen Granit eat? He always left a lot when they ate together and they hadn’t been to a restaurant since they started dating. He always assumed Granit just ate when he was by himself, but now he’s not so sure. He had also noticed he’d lost some weight recently. 

“What’s going on?” He asks “Why aren’t you eating?”

“I am” And as if to prove a point, Granit eats a forkful of pasta. But then he’s back to stirring it again.

“Granit…”

“Yeah?”

“What’s going on?”

“Nothing”

“You’re not eating”

“I told you, I’m not hungry”

“What did you eat yesterday?” Olivier asks.

“Toast and er…” he’d never been a very good liar “Soup. I had soup”

“Toast and soup? That’s not enough”

“I just don’t get hungry easily”

“Hmmm” Olivier’s not too sure “You should eat a bit more”

“Yeah” Granit picks up his fork and manages another 2 forkfuls.

“And some more…”

“I can’t”

“Come on, food’s important”

“Fine”

Granit tries and soon he’s cleared a quarter of it.

“That’s it” Olivier says “Now just a bit more”

“They give us loads”

“We need loads, we burn off a lot during with training”

“I guess”

“So eat”

“Do I have to?”

And by now Olivier’s convinced Granit has a problem, not that he’d say that out loud of course.

“Yes!”

Granit tries again and soon there’s only half of it left.

“Good job” Olivier says “A bit more?”

“I’m really full now”

“It’s because you haven’t been eating, just a bit more. For me?”

“Ok”

Granit eats another few forkfuls and then he’s really full, can’t eat another bite.

“I really can’t” He says.

“It’s ok, you did well”

“Thanks”

They go back to Granit’s house after and Olivier has so many questions.

“When did it start?” He eventually settles on.

“What?”

“This. You not eating”

“I do eat”

“Not much”

“I don’t know. When I came here I guess, it was a way to control things when everything was so chaotic”

“Ah. But things have settled down now”

“it’s just a habit”

“One we need to break”

“I guess so”

“You passed out!” Olivier points out.

“I know, I didn’t mean to”

“I know. Don’t worry, we’ll sort this”

“Mmm”

Granit leans into Oli who puts an arm around him and they settle down to watch the film.

“Want to stay over?” Granit asks when it’s finished

“Sure”

Granit turns the TV off and they head upstairs to bed. Granit finds them pyjamas and they get changed and into bed.

“I just wanna help” Olivier says.

“I know, you did today”

“Good, just let me know if there’s anything else I can do”

“Will do”

“Good, we should really sleep”

“Yeah”

“Night Granit”

“Night”

“Love you”

“Love you too”

Olivier pulls Granit closer and lies awake thinking. He was scared he had to admit, his boyfriend was starving himself. He also felt bad. How hadn’t he noticed when the signs had been there all along? No matter, he’d sort it, he would.


	2. Half A Person

A few weeks later and things were going well. Granit was actually eating, ok so maybe he wasn’t eating a normal amount yet but it was a start. Olivier would gently encourage him to eat and so far that seemed to be working. He hadn’t passed out again and didn’t seem to be losing more weight so Olivier took that as a good sign. 

One day a few weeks later however, Olivier’s ill and can’t make it to training. He’s tried, god knows he tried but he can barely get out of bed. They had a team meal after as well. Would Granit eat? He doesn’t know. As a precaution he texts Shkodran, he knows he and Granit are great friends.

Hey, can you make sure Granit eats today please? He texts and waits, closing his eyes. God he was exhausted.

Sure, what’s going on? Shkodran had text back.

He hasn’t been eating.

A few more texts and Olivier feels better, Shkodran will keep an eye on him. 

At the meal Shkodran sits next to Granit, watching him carefully. Granit eats about half and then stops.

“Come on, you can eat a bit more” Shkodran says.

“Maybe”

“Come on”

“Ok”

Granit tries and eats a little bit more.

“Just a bit more” Shkodran prompts

“Do I have to?”

“Yes”

“Fine”

Granit eats some more even though he’s really not hungry. Soon most of it’s gone.

“That’s it” Shkodran says.

“I take it Oli told you”

“Yeah he did”

“Oh”

“I just wanna help too”

“I know, thanks”

“You did well”

“I guess”

Shkodran quickly texts Olivier back, letting him know Granit ate most of it. Soon it’s time to go.

“Are you going to see Oli?” Shkodran asks.

“Yeah”

“Well have fun”

“Thanks, I will”

“Hope he’s feeling better”

“Me too”

“I’ll see you tomorrow right?”

“Yeah, see you”

Granit hurries to his car, anxious to see how his boyfriend’s doing.

“How are you feeling?” Granit asks when he’s finally there

“Tired”

“We can sleep soon”

“Good”

Olivier leads Granit into the living room and they sit.

“How was training?” Olivier asks.

“Alright, I missed you”

“I missed you too. How was the meal?”

“Ok I guess”

“Shkodran said you ate most of it”

“I did”

“That’s good, I’m proud of you”

“Thanks”

“I’m really tired, I’m just going to rest my eyes” Olivier says.

“Sure”

Olivier ends up with his head on Granit’s shoulder, deep asleep. Granit just stays where he is, hoping his boyfriend’s comfortable, mindlessly focussing on the TV. It’s only when it’s starting to get late he wonders what he should do but soon Oli wakes up.

“Feeling better?” Granit asks.

“A little, still tired”

“I think it’s time for bed”

“Good”

They head upstairs and get changed, it’s a relief for both of them when they’re in bed.

“Hope you feel better” Granit says.

“So do I”

There’s silence for a moment and Granit thinks his boyfriend’s drifted off until he speaks.

“I meant it, I’m proud of you”

“Thanks”

“Honestly, you’re doing well”

“Hmmm”

“You are”

“Well thanks. We should sleep”

“We should, night”

“Night”

“I love you”

“Love you too”

Olivier pulls Granit closer and shuts his eyes, his headache was starting to fade much to his relief. He’s tired still and is asleep within minutes.


	3. Do Your Best and Don't Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol i was bored :p chapter title's a morrissey song but else do you expect from me at this point?

“Having fun?” Olivier asks Granit, they were on a team night out, just drinking and having fun. 

“Loads”

“Good, another drink?”

Granit thinks, they had been drinking an awful lot but they were just having fun weren’t they?

“Yeah sure”

“Coming right up”

Olivier goes to the bar and orders, Granit joins him.

“I won’t be a minute” Olivier says.

“I missed you”

“I missed you too”

Olivier turns and kisses his boyfriend. The bartender hands them their drinks and they go stand with a group of their teammates. 

Soon the evening winds down and most people are leaving. 

“Does anyone want to get some food?” Mesut asks “I’m hungry”

“Sure” Granit says. Olivier looks at him.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I didn’t have dinner”

“Granit…”

“I forgot”

“Sure?”

“Yeah honestly, I got busy”

“Ok, let’s get food now anyway”

A group of them set off towards a late night kebab place round the corner, none of them thinking about what Wenger would say if he found out.

“Want to share one?” Granit asks Olivier “I don’t think I can manage a full one”

“Sure, they are quite big”

They get there and order and eat walking home. Olivier’s keeping an eye on Granit, making sure he eats most of his half. Maybe it was the alcohol but Granit eats half of his bit without really thinking.

“You can have the rest” He says to Olivier 

“Sure, you did well”

“Thanks”

And again, maybe it was the alcohol but Granit doesn’t actually feel too bad after eating that. Maybe he was getting better. He hopes so at least.

Soon their teammates split off in different directions so they say goodbye and then head to Granit’s house. 

“Sure you don’t want any more of this?” Olivier asks.

“No thanks, I’m really full”

“Sure” Olivier throws it in the bin.

Soon they’re at Granit’s house so he opens the door and they go in.

“It was a good night” Olivier says.

“It was, we should do that more often”

“Definitely”

“I’m tired now though”

“Me too, come on let’s go to bed”

They head upstairs and get ready for bed.

“I forgot my toothbrush” Olivier says.

“I have a spare one”

“Thanks”

“It’s the red one”

“Sure”

Granit gets into bed while Olivier goes to do his teeth. He’s almost drifting off by the time his boyfriend comes back into the bedroom.

“Night” Olivier says as he climbs into bed.

“Night, sleep well”

“You too”

“Love you”

“Love you too”

Olivier pulls his boyfriend into his arms and they drift off into an alcohol induced sleep.


	4. the more you ignore me, the closer i get

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh god it just took me ages to remember how to post a new chapter...fml666

Ok so the argument hadn’t been that bad but it had happened and damn did Olivier feel bad. Truth be told he can’t even remember what it had been about. He sighs as he looks across at Granit, silently willing him to come over to him and talk, just anything. 

At the meal Olivier’s worried, ok so Granit had been doing better, much better, but still. He couldn’t help but worry. Granit goes and sits by Shkodran and Mesut, not even looking at Oli but even so he gets a seat close by. 

Granit’s just sitting there staring at his food. 

“Come on, you need to eat” Olivier says.

“Why should I do as you say?”

“Food’s important, you know that”

“Whatever”

“Please, I know you’re mad at me but don’t take it out on yourself”

“He’s right you know” Shkodran says “You need to eat”

“Hmm”

“You’ve been doing so well recently, come on”

“Fine”

Granit eats about half and then stops.

“I’m full” He says.

“Granit…” Olivier says

“I am”

“Just a little bit more?” Mesut prompts

“I can try”

He does but then he’s really full, can’t eat another bite.

“It’s ok, it’s something” Shkodran says

“I’m proud of you” Olivier says

After the meal Olivier wonders what he should do. He and Granit are meant to be going back to his house but somehow he doubts that will happen. Granit doesn’t even have his car with him. 

“Can I get a lift?” He hears Granit asking Shkodran. Olivier sighs. 

“Sure”

“I’ll see you tomorrow” Olivier says and heads for his car. 

“What happened?” Shkodran asks when he and Granit are in the car.

“With what?”

“You and Oli”

“Argument”

“Was it bad?”

“Not really, we both said some stuff” Granit sighs.

“So why don’t you talk to him?”

Granit shrugs 

“You know you’re just being awkward” Shkodran says.

“I know”

“I mean you love him right”

“Of course”

“So go tell him!”

“I guess you’re right” 

“You know I am”

“Yeah, can you drop me at his house then?” Granit asks.

“Sure”

10 minutes later and they’re there. 

“Thanks” Granit says.

“No problem, see you tomorrow”

“See you”

Granit goes and knocks on the door, he’s nervous now. Because ok he realises he’s been childish. He just hope Olivier forgives him.

“Granit?” Olivier asks when he opens the door “What are you doing here?”

“I came to apologise”

“Oh. What for?”

“For ignoring you”

“It’s fine, we both said some things this morning”

“We did”

“Come in anyway”

“Thanks”

Granit follows his boyfriend to the living room.

“I am sorry” He says.

“I know you are, so am I”

“So we’re ok?”

“Yeah we’re fine”

“Good”

Olivier leans in to kiss Granit deeply.

“Want to watch a film?” Olivier asks when they break apart.

“Sure”

Olivier puts one on, an old French film he’s seen countless times. He pulls Granit into his arms.

“I love you, don’t forget that”

“I know I love you too” Granit says

“I’m glad”

Granit’s tired. Training always seemed to do that to him. He relaxes in his boyfriend’s arms and shuts his eyes.

“Sleep if you want” Olivier says. Granit hums in response. He’s asleep within minutes.


	5. such a little thing makes such a big difference

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, i had another idea lol enjoy! i wrote this instead of doing uni work so feel free to come shout at me until i do it...it's due friday and i haven't started fml666

It had been Granit’s idea, much to everyone’s surprise.

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” Olivier asks as they stand by the door.

“I’m sure”

“I’m proud of you” Olivier turns to kiss Granit. 

You see, they were going to a restaurant. Granit thought that his whole thing with food wasn’t fair on Oli because they couldn’t do normal couple things, like going out to eat due to the countless fear foods and the whole not knowing how many calories thing. But not tonight. They were going and he was going to eat.

It was a nice little restaurant, very quiet in a quaint little corner of London, far from the madding crowd as it were.

When they arrive they’re shown to their table in the corner, there aren’t too many people there now. 

“You’re right, this is nice” Granit says

“Told you, just get what you want, I’m paying”

“Thanks”

Granit goes with water for a drink, liquid calories being something he avoided still. Olivier doesn’t say anything, they were here, that was enough for now. 

“The chicken’s nice” Olivier says

“I might get that then”

“You should”

He does as it turns out, chicken’s relatively healthy so it’s safe. They order and sit waiting, sipping their drinks.

“I’m glad we came out tonight” Olivier says.

“So am I, really”

“I know. Thank you”

“It’s ok, I don’t want to hold you back”

“You don’t, not at all”

“I won’t anymore I promise”

“You never have”

“Hmmm”

“It’s a nice night”

“It is, better than yesterday”

“Yeah”

Soon they’re food arrives and Granit’s face falls. It’s a big portion, not just big, it’s huge.

“Alright?” Olivier asks.

“There’s a lot”

“Yeah there is, it’s ok though, you can do it”

“I hope so”

He starts by cutting up the chicken but then he sits staring at it.

“It’s ok” Olivier says “You can eat it”

“I know”

He eats about half before moving onto the salad which he eats about half of, aware of Olivier’s gaze. 

“You’re doing well” Olivier says.

“Thanks”

“Is it nice?”

“Very”

Granit tries the chicken again, eating a little bit more but then he’s full, very full.

“I’m full” He says.

Olivier looks at his plate.

“It’s ok, you did well, you were right, they do have big portions here”

“Thanks, they do”

Soon Olivier finishes so they can go. He pays and leaves a tip before they head to his car.

“I’m so proud of you” Olivier says

“Thanks”

“Really, I am. It was a big step”

“Yeah I guess it was”

“It was, you should be proud of yourself”

“I am I guess” Granit says

“Good”

“Our one year anniversary’s coming up, we could go out for that as well”

“Good idea”

They get into the car and head for home.


	6. getting better all the time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh look another chapter! enjoy :p and thanks for the kudos, i honestly didn't think i'd get any!!

Granit looks at the soup in front of him. The old Granit would eat a half, maybe less. But then again, the old Granit also passed out at training so yes, the new Granit would eat it all. He dips a piece of bread into the soup and bites a bit off. 54 calories goes through his brain but he ignores it, the new Granit didn’t bother with that anymore. 

By the time he’s finished he’s feeling pleasantly full which he had to admit he missed. When he’s done he puts the bowl in the sink and goes to watch TV until training. He sets off a couple of hours later, driving the 20 minutes to London colney.

Olivier immediately walks up to him and kisses him at training.

“Hey” He says.

“Hey”

“Did you eat lunch?” At first Olivier’s constant asking whether he ate annoyed him but now he was used to it.

“Yeah, I had soup and bread”

“Good. You ate all of it?”

“Yep”

“I’m proud of you”

“Thanks”

Olivier finds a ball and kicks it to him. Truth be told Granit was feeling great, he had way more energy now and plus, he didn’t even feel bad about eating lunch, well ok, not that bad. 

Training goes well and soon it’s over. They have a meal again after and as always Granit gets that anxious feeling in his stomach like he does when he has to eat. He sits next to Olivier as usual and looks at the pasta.

“It’s nice” Olivier says

“Yeah sorry, I was thinking” Granit says, calorie counts filling his brain. He picks up his fork and eats some. In fact he eats most of it without thinking.

“Well done” Olivier says

“Thanks”

“Are you still coming round?”

“Sure”

After the meal they say bye to their teammates before heading to Olivier’s car.

“I’m so proud of you, you’re doing well recently” Olivier says.

“Thanks, I think I am too”

“You are, you’re definitely getting better”

“I hope so”

“Do you still get thoughts that you shouldn’t eat?”

“Sometimes. I ignore them”

“Good”

Soon they arrive and get out the car, walking into the house.

“Want to play fifa?” Olivier asks

“Sure”

“But first” He says, turning to kiss Granit.

Olivier then turns the Xbox on and they settle down to play. They have a few games, well a lot of games actually but soon they’re starting to get tired.

“Come on, I think it’s time for bed” Olivier says.

“Yeah so do I”

Olivier turns the Xbox and TV off and they head upstairs to bed, getting changed first. 

“I meant it, I’m so proud of you” Olivier says when they’re lying in bed.

“Thanks, so am I”

“Good, you should be, you’re doing well”

“Thanks. And thanks for all your help”

“No problem, it’s what I’m here for”

“Well thank you anyway”

“It’s fine, we should sleep now”

“Yeah we should”

“Night, I love you”

“Love you too”

Olivier pulls his boyfriend into his arms and they drift off.


End file.
